July 16, 2010

I seem to be slowing down,
In all kinds of ways.
Ive been typing and hand writing
very slow lately, when Im usually
quite fast. I cant do any simple math.
I cant think anything fast.
Ive been fighting with my reality
a lot over the past couple days.
Perhaps Im too understimulated.



Regression


I dont percieve anything
as exturnal,
its all internal.



No connections



Im starting to consider anti deppessants

or medical
experimen
tation



I go out into
the world (leave my
room) and things become
unique and unpredictable.
As soon as I come back,
and sit in this chair, Im
right back where I started
and I go through the same cycle
of websites, tv channels, and
seeing whats new with people on
AIM. This is true if Im gone
for several hours, over a day,
or even for 30 seconds.



When I watch myself
in the mirror, iM hard to recognize.

I feel
like nothing more that a pair
of floating eyeballs.